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Monday, 25 November 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan marries mail order bride
A picture of Jennifer Lawrence while on vacation in D.C.

Lindsay Lohan marries long time girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence of Jamaica in a picture-perfect wedding that took place in Hawaii on the magical Isle of Maui. The couple met on an online marriage agency.

Shortly before the wedding, Lohan stepped out of a black limousine in a flamboyant, white, bridal dress designed by Jean Paul Gaultier. Lawrence appeared at the wedding in a tuxedo accompanied by her Jamaican father Dean Roy Lawrence.

Sixteen states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriage. Fortunately, for Lohan Hawaii is one of the sixteen states.

Like most celebrity weddings, it turned out to be quite the star-studded affair with rumored guests Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Billy Crystal, among others.

The night of their wedding they consummated their marriage at the Fairmont Kea Lani hotel in Maui. Guest reported hearing screams and crying coming from their hotel room.

Prior to the blessed event, Lawrence told the MauiTime Weekly she was "so excited and so thrilled" for the big day. Lawrence is a bartender at a Jamaican bar called "The Black Pearl."

So how did the happy couple hit it off during their first date? According to paper the Hollywood veteran met Lawrence in person at "The Black Pearl." After Lohan passed out on booze, Lawrence took care of her while she was bedridden at a hotel room. I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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