Written by Lord Alcoholiam2
Print this

Monday, 25 November 2013

image for Italian Accused of Cooking-Up 'Spicy' Meatballs with £3m Street Value
'Spicy meatballs.'

'Spicy Meatballs' is a term used by Italian Chefs who put Meth Amphetamine in their food. DEA officials believe.

"We believe we have found an Italian Chef who might be cooking meatballs and meth," said a DEA official.

The accused Italian stated: 'I'm just an ordinary person who loves to cook. what's wrong with that? I'm not harming anybody. My meatballs are delicious. Just mince, salt, egg, bread, and garlic. Because the key to good meatballs is not to add any herbs.'

'We have to be careful because there are a lot of street names for meth...and meatballs is one of them,' said the DEA official. 'Not to mention: Crank, Crystal, salt, egg, Crystal Meth, bread, Hot Ice, garlic, herb, Jalapeño, Lasagna, Just mince, Bistecca Fiorentina (steak florentine) Braciole Bresaola Capicollo Carne Pizzaiola Coda alla vaccinara Cotechino Modena Cotoletta alla milanese Cotoletta alla petroniana Culatello Guanciale (cured pork jowl)Mortadella Osso buco Pancetta Pezzetti di cavallo Prosciutto di Parma Prosciutto cotto (cooked ham)Prosciutto crudo Salame Salsiccia (sausages) including Salsiccia cruda Soppressata Speck Alto Adige PGI Violino Valtell Christina, Tina, Cris, Cristy, Chalk, Whitesnake, Chalk, Dust, Ice, Speed, Geep, Getter, Getgo, Go Fast, G, Trash, Garbage, Wash, White Cross, White Crunch, Hanyak, Hironpon, Hiropon, egg, Hot Ice, Super Ice, Batu, Kaksonjae, LA Glass, LA Ice, Ice Cream, Quartz, Chunky Love, Cookies, Cotton Candy, Dunk, Gak, Go-Go Juice, Junk, No Doze, Pookie, Rocket Fuel, Scooby Snax...just off the top of my head."

Thank god he wasn't accused of cooking coq-au-vin.

Make Lord Alcoholiam2's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

2 23 16 19
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more