Written by Anan E Maus
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Sunday, 24 November 2013

In an unprecedented revelation, hardline Democrats announced today their actual (and quite obvious) opinions of such so-called "special interest" and "minority" groups as homosexuals, blacks and women.

Considering all they have been doing for decades is feigning concern for these "oppressed" minorities, thus creating widespread and fractious division-and then subdivision; and then divisiveness; and then division on top of division, and then further subdivision, and then sub-division, and then, just for good measure, some more division/subdivision chucked in-and further separating the two largest and most politically influential of these, the women and the blacks, from the remnant of America, by spearheading the political correctness initiatives that resulted, in time, in such trivial and traitorous and incremental things as "Black History Month," and "Women's HERstory Month"....thus forever creating unnecessary, untrue and unneeded division between American history and the black and female contributions to it; and promoting all kinds of separatism, extremism and near-treason, through lack of recognition and inclusion of those two groups' rather significant contributions to the ongoing history of their country; it hardly comes as no surprise that the Democrats, for nearly fifty years, have been manipulating and exploiting these two groups, misleading them via all manner of propaganda and outright lies, and creating a strong, but ultimately unsustainable electoral base for themselves and their party.

Further instances of stupidity, lack of integrity, lack of credibility, near-treason, conspiratorialness, cronyism, courting of dangerous lobbys and lobbyists, graft and venality, selfishness, plots to seize control, plots to, over time, weaken the country in every possible way, have also been openly admitted to.

"Oh, it's true; all of it true," a party spokesman speaking for the Democratic aristocracy proudly admitted in a Washington press conference today, "And, we are particularly proud of our exploitation and misleading and manipulation and immaturization of the women and the blacks...black women are an especial favorite key demographic of ours, you know."

Following this, the Democrat spokesman continued to rant and rave on about the nonaccomplishments of the Democratic party in recent years, such as the feminization of most of America. "Oh, yeah, that was a great ploy to weaken the country....yes, indeed. Still, though, I have to admit that our favorite instances of corrupt manipulation and venal compartmentalization and an overall fracturing of most of American society, came again in our constant lying to the "African-Americans...ha! What a clunky buzzword, eh?" the spokesman was quoted as saying and gesturing, while clinging to the edge of the lecturn (presumably for support), at this reporter.

"Well, don't you agree?" the spokesman said, and took a truly heroic slug off of the whiskey bottle hidden in his sportcoat, and continued to harass this reporter will constant references to the "unending, impenetrable power" of the Democrat party. This reporter recalled observing that, at each instance of the word "party," a keg suddenly flew up, seemingly out of nowhere, at the stage and a host of blonde, fat-necked, beer-swilling, irredeemable fratboys sporting garish black ink tattoos that said "I hate freedom" and "Obama's allright," descended en masse and, yelling "Party, party...where's the party," occupied the stage and overturned the lectern and proceeded to engage in a number of vile fraternal house drinking traditions, including Herculean intakes and inundating quaffs of lager, all to the raucous vociferations of "Chug! Chug! Chug!" Following this and other such bacchanalian exhibitions, a knot of the hulking fratboys proceeded to pull out their battered, condom-ringed, perspirant wallets, and take from the photo insert-section cherished glossy photos of battered, bloodied women.

At this point, the Democrats proceeded to relate tales of misogyny all of which culminated in particularly terrifying, gruesome, lurid descriptions of vile, hateful rapes that made this reporter cringe and wish he were deaf, blind and dumb (or else had pursued that law degree instead of a major in journalism studies in college). Next, a crowd of white-hooded male figures approached the stage and lit clapboard crosses pre-soaked in gaseous combustible fuel and the stage burst with the eclat of fire-light.

Some abject, manacled black men and women were hauled before the stage and summarily tried for and lynched for abstruse crimes that they had in no way committed, while the fratboys proceeded to roast weenies, s'mores and marshmallows on the fires engulfing the clapboard crosses, and as some of the black men and women were also roasted alive on the comburent roods, the fratboys persisted in roasting their weenies (unfortunately not their actual weenies, as far as this highly compromised and morally-stunned reporter is concerned) even on these hellish fires.

This reporter started to ask one of the white-hooded men who they are and inquired as to whether or not they were members of the infamous KKK, to which a spokesman for the Klan gruffly replied, "No; we're called 'The Brotherhood of the Clapboard Cross" ..........now" This reporter began to slowly back away to the exit as hordes of Marxists, communistic elderly hippies, transsexuals (with phallic pudenda gaily swinging about), homophiles dressed in leather-strapped outfits, militant feminists, gun control zombies, atheists and assorted other intolerant, hypocritical venal meddlers and freaks streamed in and headed for the stage, where they all began defecating on the American flag and lighting dollar bills ablaze and wiping their feculent asses with same.............and then the strippers arrived!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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