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Wednesday, 20 November 2013

image for Wendi Deng cops $250million divorce settlement from Rupert Murdoch
Let the good times roll

New York (Ass Mess) - Fourteen years of connubial bliss ended 'amicably' in a New York divorce court today as Wendi Deng's lawyers managed to persuade ageing octogenarian media tycoon Rupert Murdoch to hand over $250million - split 50/50 between cash and property - in settlement of the couple's divorce.

Deng will keep the couple's $50million Fifth Avenue condo, a $40 million Central London mansion and commercial assets thought to be shares, artworks and patents along with cash, bonds and gold bullion stashes worth around $125 million on condition of secrecy about the settlement.

In return Deng will forgo all claims on her ex's estate when the moguls eventually Kicks the bucket; this means the couple's two daughters will not be subjected to a threatened DNA test to check up on their paternity following claims that ex-UK Prime Monster fathered both brats.

Commenting on the specifics a source close to Blair denied the old scheming bastard had ever poked Wendi Deng - let alone had full-on carnal sex leading to the birth of two daughters.

Cherry Bush QC is on anti-psychotics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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