George Zimmerman was arrested again this week for assault with a deadly weapon and once again vowed his innocence.
"All I was doing was standing my ground," stated Zimmerman, "doin nothing except breaking a few tables, practicing my choking and gun pointing techniques and everyone gets all pissy…Geeesh!"
As word of Zimmerman's new arrest took over the evening news, many of his supporters around the country came to his defense. "Jes proves Zimmie ain't no racist," said the Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC. "Two of his tree arrests have been against white folks, only one against a colored. Proves Zimmie don't see color, jes targets."
A reporter from the local Franklin Times asked McCorkle if he would continue to support the famous hero of the gun rights activists. McCorkle replied, "Damn tooten we will! If he is out of the slammer we expect him at our annual John Wilkes Booth dinner gala next month right here in Louisburg! He done promised he'd sign trigger fingers for all of us that night! Cousin Bubba's boy David is so excited he's done takin his finger out of his nose for the first time in three years just to have it signed by the great one!" McCorkle hesitated and raised his arms in the air with his trigger finger extended and shouted, "Zimmie, Zimmie, he's our man, if he can't shoot you and get away with it, nobody can!"
Reporter: "Sounds like an exciting evening Reverend."
McCorkle: "Damn tooten! The Mrs. (Anna Mae) will be singing her own composition, Give Hate a Chance, at the closing. He hesitated once again and smiled benignly, "Shouldn't be a dry eye in the house!"