Washington A/D [Reuterus] - A secret pact between the faux royal Queen Elizabeth and George Bush Senior has kept President John F Kennedy's real assassin snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug for the last 50 years according to confidential documents decrypted by WikiLeaks hackers.
The Cuban-born Russian, one of Bush Sr's coterie of little known bastards, went on to sire Barack Obama in a intelligence cover-up instigated by ex-president George Herbert Bush during his tenure as head of the CIA.
And despite decades of NATO lobbying every United States President since Lyndon B Johnson has colluded in hiding the assassin's existence as well as the thousands of intelligence documents about his extraordinary criminal career.
"From the Brits point of view it was always a no-brainer," a former CIA Internal Affairs analyst whose scalps include busting the KGB/CIA double agent Aldrich Ames commented, "soon as they realised the JFK shooter was a maternal sibling of Brit kiddie-killer Myra Hindley."
Myriad rumors about this fugitive from justice have always maintained other corrupt foreign powers are shielding the bastard - including Somali 'terrists' Al Shabab-Kebab and the same ragbag of Bahraini princelets who sheltered Michael Jackson before his child sex crimes trial.
Of course there's never been so much as a squeak about it from the USA's current Commander-in-Chief whose ridiculing of the GOP Tea Party partially discredited the Ann Dunham/Obama Sr rumors claiming the President's parentage.
"Sure, Obama's been on a 50-year high," the ex-CIA source added, "confident neither the Pentagon nor any US security agency will ever give up his DNA secrets."
All that could now change under the Brits' 50-year Rule that cashes amd whitewashed embarrassing stuff about the sordid shagging hystery of the Bushes.
Barbara Bush Sr is 94.