Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 November 2013

image for Utah Is Considering A Ban On Bikini Thong Panties
State officials expect that several groups of young women will definitely protest the ban.

SALT LAKE CITY - After receiving numerous complaints from mall store owners and managers, the state of Utah will be looking into the prospect of banning bikini thong panties on females between the ages of 18 to 25.

According to state Senator Buxton Quickymill [R-Provo] the matter was first brought up before the senate two years ago.

He noted that several older senators managed to sweep the measure underneath the rug.

But lately many mall store employees have pointed out that it is very distracting for mall shoppers to try and shop when they see a sexy, nubile, young woman walk in clearly showing the strings of her bikini thongs.

One mall shop manager, who refused to give his name, said that he grew up on the coast of Massachusetts and he never saw as many whale tails and he has seen recently.

A Utah college coed who said her name was Stephanie Winterlighter, 21, said that she is going to wear her string bikini thong panties and no old senators are going to tell her she can't.

SIDENOTE: Senator Quickymill said that the bill will most probably cost the first time offender somewhere around $200.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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