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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

image for Man With Bladder Problem Sets Ass on Fire

Howard Finney has given up his most comforting item because he nearly burned to death Tuesday night.

"I will have to wear a lot of lotion and adult diapers for awhile", he told $tar$ reporter, George Hill. "I guess my bladder probably saved my life after nearly taking it."

Finney's most comforting item is or was his electric blanket that he uses all winter.

Apparently, according to a volunteer fireman in Mount Lucky
in West Virginia, Finney has been having bladder problems of late and while he slept heavily Tuesday night, he peed and it shorted out the blanket.

"He told us he woke up with his ass on fire and ran to the bathroom as fast as he could. He also stated that the pee had extinguished a lot of the flame."

So most of Finney's fellow apartment dwellers may be hearing him every time he relieves himself for a few weeks.

"All the hair is gone..front and back. I should have known that a six-pack of beer could to be a problem. Next time I'll drink them in the morning."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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