Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 November 2013

image for Governor Chris Christie Considering Getting A 100-Pound Liposuction
Governor Christie says that he no longer eats two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas for breakfast.

TRENTON, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie has made it clear that he has his eyes focused on being the Republican candidate in the 2016 presidential race.

The rotund governor recently appeared on The View and he was asked by Barbara Walters if he feels that he is up to the tremendous rigors that the office entails.

Governor Christie looked at her and asked, "Are you friggin kiddin' me lady...watch this."

And with that the New Jersey governor got off of the sofa and in the middle of the floor in front of Jenny McCarthy and Whoopi Goldberg he proceeded to count out 25 push ups.

Walters was needless to say impressed. "Golly governor" she said continuing, "You have just shown me and the people of America that you are certainly fit."

Governor Christie informed her that back in February he had gone in for a gastric bypass. He pointed out that he also had his tongue tightened which helps to reduce his caloric intake.

The governor was asked by Sherri Shepherd, who herself is on the hefty side, how much he weighed. Everyone could see that he did not appreciate that question.

But he tactfully responded by looking her up and down and saying that he figures he weighs at least three or four pounds more than her.

Shepherd was flabbergasted. Whoopi started laughing and commented, "Girlfriend, you of all people should know better than to be asking anyone about their weight."

Governor Christie did reveal that a year ago he was tipping the scales (literally) at 403 pounds.

He then smiled and said that he is thinking about going in and having a 100-pound liposuction procedure performed the day after Thanksgiving.

SIDENOTE: The New Jersey governor said that his goal is to end up looking like his music idol, Bruce Springsteen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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