Written by Tony Bagodonutz
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Wednesday, 6 November 2013

In light of recent fraud cases revolving around fortune-telling laws in New York and Florida, psychics are speaking out. The legal system is going after people that seemingly take advantage of vulnerable victims.

"Oh," states psychic Yuri Sukka, "So, once again we sayers of sooth are being scapegoated. Tell me something I didn't already know."

He and other psychics feel that laws against fortune-telling are not fair to themselves or the people who believe seers have something to offer.

"How is what I do any different than a gym offering a membership to someone who is clearly never going to look good. We offer hope at least. If someone believes, then they should have the right to pay me to believe so I can soothsay and say things of sooth to soothe their sadness."

A ranking official in policy making, who chose to remain nameless, stated, "These laws are designed to keep guy's like Sukka away from innocents. We just haven't been able to pin anything on him specifically yet."

Sukka's reply when told the comment, "Oh. He remained nameless? I a freakin' SOOTHSAYER sayeth I! He shan't subvert my saying of sooth. He shall suffer severely so I can say sooth strongly again! He sucks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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