Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 6 November 2013

image for America's Top Drug Dog Retires
Fido's girlfriend Fifi.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas.

Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his handler and the handlers of other drug dogs.

The honored guest and party guests feasted on dozens of cans of Alpo Deluxe, cow bones, and two ten pounds bags of Kibbles 'n Bits.

Fido's handler, Officer Rudy Tannendello stated that Fido was special in that he was actually an undercover drug dog seeing as how he was not a golden retriever like most drug dogs, but a full-bred teacup Chihuahua.

During his 10 years on the K-9 force Fido was credited with helping to make 187 arrests and was responsible for the confiscation of illegal drugs with a street value of $97.8 million.

Also present at his retirement party was his girlfriend of four years, Fifi, a German Shepherd who is still active in the K-9 Drug Division in El Paso.

Fido and Fifi never had puppies since Fido was neutered when he was 2 years old, but Fifi was fine with that since the little fella had a hell of time trying to mount her.

SIDENOTE: As a retirement gift Fido was given a very expensive silver diamond encrusted dog collar which was donated by President and Mrs. Barack Obama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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