Written by Adam Click
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Friday, 1 November 2013

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All hail the conquering hero! Gregory "I'm No Hero" Hanes shows off his prowess on the battlefield of computer programming.

The same little kid who saved a grateful nation of gamers from the dreaded Video Game Killer has done it again. And this time there's no hiding from fame for now twelve-year-old Gregory Hanes.

During a whirlwind tour of the nations top television and radio talk shows the boy was praised again and again for finding the all too simple, if not improbable solution, to a very vexing problem: The Obamacare website's failure to launch.

Bored with the rote code writing exercises in his sixth grade computer science class, young Gregory turned his attention to the nation's preoccupation with the most glaring example of Obamacare incomopetence: The Health Care Portal.

"It was actually pretty simple." Master Hanes explained during testimony on capitol hill. "Whenever you have a failure of this magnitude in a complex program of this size, the error can inevitably be found in the first few pages of code. In this case it was a simple syntax error which caused a cascading effect whenever the offending code was addressed during data delivery."

The Obama Administration is breathing a little easier these days as it's signature legislation is back on track, with the website running smoothly and people signing up for coverage at a record pace: fourteen people as of this morning. And although the president lacks the authority to do so, Mr. Obama has awarded the aspiring programmer the Congressional Medal of Honor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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