Written by G. Brookings
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Wednesday, 30 October 2013

image for NY Times' Dowd Attacks Cheney Heart Donor
What Dowd Sees When She Looks at Cheney!

While the rest of the US media is engaged in a vigorous debate about Obamacare and whether President Obama lied to the American people or merely fibbed, obfuscated, misdirected, hiccoughed, glitched or used the word "period," when he meant instead to append a long finely-printed footnote to his promise that Americans could keep their health care plans, the NY Times has boldly refused to be distracted by the Republican-inspired side show and focused today like a laser beam on the real and most pressing danger faced by Americans: the fact that Dick Cheney has a new heart. Who knew?

In her opinion piece, Maureen Dowd, the dowager empress of snark, bemoaned Cheney's new book recounting his heart transplant and the fact that he seems pink and healthy and still able to bully. Describing Cheney as "a man with a stranger's heart," Dowd makes clear that she would prefer a heartless Cheney, one who would be in no condition to "snarl" at Obama every chance he gets. Dowd's argument drifts off at one point as she indulges in a weird reminiscence of the early days of the Bush-Cheney presidential campaign. She speculates how much better the world might have been if Cheney had just croaked or, failing that, if the medical doctors who conspired to give him a clean bill of health had been honest and disqualified him for service as Vice President on the grounds that he would not live very long. No Iraq war would have happened,she muses; all that unnecessary suffering and damage to America's image in the Middle East, etc. etc. Dowd longs for the good old days when libs stood alone on the moral high ground and the man with the fatal ticker stalked the earth, taking their arrows in his back, but still snarling and scheming and hallucinating flawed policies due to the reduced flow of blood to his brain.

Dowd concludes her article with a call for the Justice Department to investigate the heart donor. Even before Obamacare is fixed, something must be done about Cheney. There is obviously something terribly wrong with a heart that could reanimate Dick Cheney and make the Republican Satan resemble your grandfather, who has suddenly begun to irritate you with his complaints about Obama's health care law.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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