Written by Evil
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Topics: Lady Gaga, Gum

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

image for Lady Gaga has unusual taste
A witness claims that chewing gum is not the only thing Lady Gaga likes to smell.

In a story that is horrifying both because of its content and the media coverage that has followed in its aftermath, Lady Gaga was seen engaging in bizarre behavior to satisfy her unusual taste.

She was caught outside a middle school in New York City picking up used chewing gums for her collection. She estimates that the used chewing gums will be worth a bit of money several years from now.

A girl at the elementary-school told her teacher that she saw the Monster Queen smelling her used chewing gum which she had spat onto the public sidewalk through the school's gate.

Mike Horswell, an expert on chewing gums, said that Gaga's behavior is not strange and it's no different from a wine taster who smells wine to identify its contents.

Horswell, who collects used chewing gums, regularly smells the gums to identify the manufacture and the flavor for his personal collection. He also collects stamps and has over twenty-thousand postage stamps, some dating back as far as 1840.

All of this is now just hitting the news. New York Times reporter James McDonalds Jr. focuses on the way that the New York community has reacted to Lady Gaga's unusual hobby of collecting gums chewed by kids. "They have seen her picking up little boys on the street in her car and paying them to pick up chewing gums," said McDonalds.

McDonalds quotes a woman who is dismayed at the idea that "these boys have to live with this the rest of their lives." Of course, the idea of having to pick up used chewing gums is repulsive.

To make matters worse, the description of the behavior implies that she is a deviant figure trying to get rich from discarded chewing gums.

The Mayor of the City describes Gaga's behavior as beneficial because it cleans up used chewing gums off the streets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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