Washington - Someone who should know better has ghost-written a baby according to a pre-Halloween sweep of the White House septic tank.
Spooky pest control operatives hired by the First Lady found half a dozen piss test swabs following a plumbing incident in the Queen's Bedroom, the White House's palatial second floor VIP suite.
"Some lucky gal or her inseminator sure were in a hurry," a forensic sleuth commented as he retrieved the tell-tale evidence of those early first trimester signs.
The magnificent White House guest wing was recently outed in an Edward Snowden ex-po-say as the scene of wild three-in-a-bed romps tight - uh, right! - under President Obama's nose.
Last to officially enjoy the VIP suite's lavish hospitality was Joe and Jill Biden who stayed there after missing a ride home following a White House correspondents dinner during DC's recent Yellow Cab strike.
"Someone extracurricular must have sneaked in after," the forensics guy added.
Over 20 females - including Secret Service detail - reside at the White House at any given moment in time.