Washington DC: The Obama administration is in major damage control mode today as rumors are swirling that the 25 year old technology used to build the stuck-in-neutral Obamacare website is causing cancer of the skin, tongue, lung, liver, colon-you name it, it's causing cancer there.
President Obama, in a hastily arranged meeting with aides, acknowledged the rising cancer rate among US citizens. He also acknowledged it may be caused from excessive exposure to ancient software code emitted from computer screens after someone sits for hours on end trying to get health insurance.
In a heated exchange in the hallowed halls of congress, GOP Senator John Boehner crowed, "Finally, the damage inflicted by Obamacare can be felt in every household." A Democrat retorted, "Well, at least we are not destroying the EPA so everyone can get cancer and then not allowing them access to healthcare so they can get help!" Boehner responded, "Yeah, but it's better to have cancer than 17 trillion dollars debt." This was met with a scathing remark by the democrat, "Whatareyougonnado? Shut down the government to keep everyone who got cancer from trying to get Obamacare from getting healthcare?" Boehner responded, "Yeah, then we are going to repeal and replace cancer with something more efficient like...like...Ebola, so no one needs this silly Obamacare-or computers. They make my crazy anyway."