Dallas, Texas - A Kennedy Clan cloning factory took covert possession of JFK's brain soon after George Bush Junior and wingman Grassi Noel pumped it full of bullets on November 22 1963.
And whatever presidential remains lie buried at Arlington National Cemetery you can bet your bottom dollar they're missing one vital organ.
Now a new book delving into the 'Bermuda Triangle' of US presidential archives names Bobby Kennedy's Texan cryogenic stasis lab as the secret mausoleum for President Kennedy's missing cranial remains.
The claims are borne out by Zaprudder footage of the famous assassination which recorded a frantic Jackie Kennedy trying to grab a piece of her husband's shot-off skull lying on the back of the presidential limo.
That bit of brain tissue is also gone, believed missing in action, in what some reckon could be a morbid souvenir kinda scenario from someone once close to the Dallas Book Suppository.
Meanwhile a US Homeland Security National DNA database is promising to publish the entire Kennedy Clan genome going back all the way to the family's Irish Potato Blight years origins.
Expect plenty of surprises and startling revelations when former First Daughter Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg takes up her Tokyo diplomatic post on April 1st next year.
Madeleine Albright is 103.