Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Saturday, 19 October 2013

image for The Two Teds to Tour Together

In spite of the spanking the Tea Party received from Barack Obama after its failed government shutdown recently, Ted Cruz and Ted Nugent are unapologetic and are going to tour together to promote the stranglehold the Tea Party, they hope, still has on the GOP.

Nugent, known back in the 1970s for his crazed antics while playing the guitar and scratching out a few short-lived hits, will be accompanied by Ted Cruz on the megaphone. Cruz' friends say the Tea Party firebrand has been playing the megaphone since age 13. "He's, like, wicked mean on the megaphone," said one Cruz groupie. "He can make a megaphone talk!"

Nugent is expected to feature his newest hit song, Gadsden Flag Fever, which, some say, echoes an earlier hit that Nugent had back in the late 1970s: "Well, the first time that I saw it I was just ten years old / I got it from some kook next door / An' I went to see some Redneck and he gave me the cure / Gadsden Flag Fever ! / Don't tread on me baby, don't tread on me no more!"

President Barack Obama, still flush from his latest battle with the Tea Party and wearing his stomping boots, only said, "Bring it on!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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