Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Saturday, 19 October 2013

image for Arizona Has Found A Solution To The Problem of School Bus Violence
Each Arizona school bus will have a shotgun-toting security guard assigned to it.

PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has just informed the news media that she and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio have figured out a solution to a very pressing matter.

The governor said that since the start of the school year, about 37 percent of the school bus drivers have reported some kind of altercations during their bus runs.

One very unusual incident occurred in Yuma, Arizona where 8 males got into a fight with 9 females as the bus was traveling down the road.

The bus driver reportedly yelled at the students to stop fighting but he was drowned out by the other students who were yelling "Yeah, you go sista!" "Say sucka don't cha be kicking her in her titties!" and "Watch it bro, da big ugly bitch fixin' to be biting on ya."

Governor Brewer has said that violent incidents like these not only endanger the stupid students who are fighting, but the stupid students who are yelling out words of encouragement as well.

She went on to say that it also puts the bus driver in peril along with everyone else who happens to be on the road at the time.

The governor and Sheriff Arpaio will be implementing a new policy where every Arizona school bus will have a shotgun-toting security guard assinged to it.

Both Brewer and Arpaio are just about 100 percent certain that this should take care of the bus violence problem.

SIDENOTE: Bus drivers will also be equipped with tasers but the school bus must be completely stopped in order for them to use them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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