Massachusetts - (Associated Mess): As guest of honor at at DC Euro-Septic stink tank dinner last month hosted by former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher, Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was officially anointed as the next Tory Party trompe l'oeil of American politics after his gushing string of superlatives pronounced the Hellfire Club's grande dame his 'greatest foreign asset'.
"It was an extraordinary honor to be able to see her once again after so many years of pretending we have never had any kind of close personal relationship, financial dealings, common ideology, nor shared DNA", he said.
"We talked about the mess the US and UK were in over the Iraq war and campaign strategies to bankroll my 2008 White House plans without drawing attention to awkward details in CIA classified files and related paperwork held by the Brits at MI6."
But Romney, 59, pointed out that enemy combatants in the US Justice Department were thwarting his ambitious plans to become the first US President of the Mormon persuasion:
"We're under attack by relentless jihadists masquarading as the US judiciary," Romney said.
"They're not simply a band of lunatics in the hills of Afghanistan and Pakistan.
"They're in Capitol Hill and make the Taleban seem like Sunday school teachers by comparison."
Asked about the state of conservative politics in the UK, Governor Romney beamed with hubris and fanned the peacock-tail of his superior opinions:
"I'd love to speak to my conservative colleagues in the mother country about that at next year's Tory Party conference.
"But even more than that, I'm banking on a done deal from the Great Iron Lady herself for a full-scale Presidential State Visit to Buckingham Palace following my successful White House bid in November 2008."
But the supremely confident, charismatic and outwardly invincible Massachusetts boss may have overlooked one tiny detail as he basked in the reflected glory of his Hellfire Club grande dame hostess: the legendary Curse of Thatcher has no mercy for those who suck off her reflected glory.
British media commentators have warned that bookmakers are laying Romney as a sitting duck and offering odds of 4/5 FAV for an imminent, Icarus-like fall from grace before the Mid-Terms.
Noting that his membership of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Assholes was the least of his image problems, analysts have homed in on his utter faith in the Iron Lady never having been outed as one of Adolf Hitler's secret offspring.
And while the Feds continue to unravel the financial connections between recently busted serial polygamist and Mormon spiritual leader Warren Jeffs and Thatcher Foundation bankrollers in the US polygamy belt, Romney's ambitions for a Capitol Hill triumph begin their inevitable meltdown decline to lasting oblivion.