Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Monica Lewinsky

Monday, 30 September 2013

image for Small plane crashes into Santa Monica Lewinsky
Monica is known locally as Ms Chubby Chops on account of her ballooning features

California - Newly elevated to the sainthood by a Vatican paypal decree the 40 year-old ex-Clinton intern was recovering at home yesterday evening following a collision with a twin-engine Cessna Citation at Malibu Airport.

Firefighters fought all night with the smoldering wreckage as Ms Lewinsky escaped with relatively low grade contusions to her ample, spreading posterior.

"Yeah, her big fat ass was blocking the runway trying to hitch an illicit ride," the plane's pilot commented.

This morning wreckage from the Cessna 525A prang was being assessed as an insurance write-off amid a forensics trawl for mitigating debris on the runway such as Lewinsky designer handbags and patented prom dress stain removal products.

A black box flight recorder was eventually salvaged from the plane's mangled remains and will now be processed for video footage to determine exactly what happened to cause the impact.

Flights are being diverted to the nearby Thousand Oaks military airfield subject to the usual Department of Homeland Insecurity restrictions.

Extensive damage to the runway's tarmac means the airport will remain closed until further notice while emergency resurfacing works begin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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