(Undisclosed Location - USA) The National Security Agency published a 100 page document stating that "someone somewhere is planning something" against an as yet unidentified target, location, agency or individual. "We can unequivocally and without a doubt count on this fact," said Agent Colby Colorado, "I would stake my reputation on this."
The document includes many charts, diagrams and maps with key areas of interest noted with a green highlighter. According to Agent Colorado, "I want to emphasize the fact that I personally recommended the use of a pink highlighter, but we did not have one in the office supply closet at the time, so a decision was made to go with the green highlighter."
The agency has yet to determine who the "someone" is although the somewhere has been pinpointed to a geographic area of the United States between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
"As far as the something is concerned, it really could be anything," said Agent Colorado, "But we are very hopeful that it will be something we can stop just in the nick of time like one of those Jason Bourne movies or maybe James Bond for our older members of the NSA."
"We now also have reason to believe that this unspecified someone who is somewhere in America planning something will most likely do it sometime," Agent Colorado concluded. "But I cannot specify if that sometime is now. It will probably be sometime... in the future."