Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 24 September 2013

image for 'Michelle took my bong away years ago' wails Barack Obama
Eschewing tobacco, eh?

Washington - The clean living, chillum eschewing Big Dude on Capitol Hill hasn't had so much a whiff of it since Thanksgiving 2007 if forensic memories are to be believed.

Including this year's Martha's Vineyard vacation when some really cool weed, rescued from Ecuador's polluted Yasuni Rainforest, made a sudden appearance via a diplomatic bag**.

Annual medical checks have found no traces of THC present in the Presidential O Negative apart from some inevitable 'passive smoking' fallout that's been blamed on the White House gardener's medicinal marijuana habit.

Those horticultural activities were recently vetted by Secret Service sleuths who found the White House gardener 'is a 60-a-day-man' after a swoop on the back of the Rose Garden potting shed nailed a huge spent butts stockpile.

"He's our prime suspect," Special Agent Rambo Alfalfa commented ahead of reports that this year's Capitol Hill, uh, tobacco plant harvest could be as great as the vintage crop of 1999.

An ounce of Pennsylvania Avenue Thunderf++k retails for around five thousand bucks.

** Vice President Joe Biden's nickname for female envoys who keep schtum about pot and stuff.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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