Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 22 September 2013

image for America's First Transgendered Homecoming Queen Says Her Goal Is To Be A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader
Cassidy says that out of all of her cosmetics her bright red lipstick is her favorite.

HUNTINGTON BEACH, California - Cassidy Campbell, whose name used to be Lance Campbell, has just been elected Marina High School's Homecoming Queen.

The 16-year-old transgendered student said that she could not believe that she won and kept pinching herself over and over until the home economics teacher told her to stop or else she would end up with some ugly-looking bruises.

Cassie said that the thousands of dollars she has spent on cosmetics, wigs, padded bras, and Victoria's Secret lingerie was worth it.

Her boyfriend identified as Bentley Cooperleggun, 19, said that he knew she would win because of her cute smile, her warm personality, and her amazing breast implants.

After the ceremony she was asked by reporters what her future goals are. Cassie smiled and said that her goal is to one day become a member of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

SIDENOTE: When asked who her female idol is Cassidy paused for a moment to dab away a tear. She then revealed that her female idol is Velicity Worthbiddle who used to be Victor Worthbiddle, a Spokane lumberjack and who is now Miss Velicity a Beverly Hills interior decorator.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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