News sources have concurred that not one, but two other members of the Bush family are threatening to seek political seats in 2016. The same family who brought you Bush I, Iraq War I and Bush the Second, Iraq War II are going to continue their assault on America democracy with yet more kin determined to underscore the US way of life, liberty and the pursuit of getting more stuff..
This time the family intends on playing a smarter political game than they did with the last Bush. In a plan inspired by the loss of Hispanic votes that helped them to lose the 2012 election, the family have dredged up a Bush who is part Hispanic and is another George to boot- George P. Bush who is half Mexican. Fortunately he can speak English and even more fortunately he can speak it better than George W ever did. Also, fortunately, he will be only running for Texas Land Commissioner. It is suspected that this is actually a part of an evil plot by Mexican drug cartels to launder their money by buying Texas land and eventually purchasing enough to cede it back to Mexico. For a real change, it is the Democrats who are accusing this. Since when do Democrats have anything against immigrants, minorities or drugs?
The second Bush being thrust down our throats is Jeb Bush, former Warden of Florida. He, like his brother George W before him, has had enough of just screwing a state alone and wants to upgrade to screwing a whole country.
Both the CIA and the FBI are looking into these vile threats to the American way of life and liberty. They are presently checking out the backgrounds, phone calls, emails, past residences, girlfriends, boyfriends, foreign affiliations, etc. of the two candidates with about half of the scrutiny that they give to ordinary citizens. Homeland Security has announced that they will not be looking into the matter as their organization were created by Bush the Second and therefore feel that they owe allegiance to him and his siblings. Also they would lose their cushy jobs.
Indeterminate of whether either Bush wins George Bush the First intends on permanently changing the family name to 'Caesar'.
The FBI has put the nation on a yellow alert until it is determined just how much of a threat to the nation another Bush in the White House would be. Unfortunately the cautionary warning could last until the summer of 2016. If Jeb wins the Republican nomination it will be upgraded to a red alert. On the other hand the threat to Texas is being downgraded as they want to secede anyway.