Written by Moe Nightwalker
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Topics: Guns

Saturday, 21 September 2013

image for Kid Mayor Recalled Following Comments About Toy Gun Control
Former Mayor Consults With His Mommy

Little Bobby Tufts, celebrity 4-year-old mayor of a small town in Minnesota, has been kicked out of office due to his tough stance on toy gun control. Mayor Bobby had been in office for only a few months, after running a juvenile campaign promising late bedtimes and PG-rated movies for everyone.

Just this past weekend, Tufts was overheard during a neighborhood Nerf gun battle complaining loudly about an older kid's belt-fed machine gun. According to witnesses, Tufts said, "Big gun is cheating! No fair!" Tufts was reportedly armed with a single-shot Nerf pistol and carried only 6 rounds of ammo. After his humiliating defeat, Tufts signed an executive order in crayon to outlaw automatic Nerf guns.

Word got around the local playgrounds and streets quickly. Citizens of the small, unincorporated town of Higgs called for the special vote on Monday at Johnson's Hardware Store. Bobby was recalled by a margin of 33-2. As has been the case nationwide, politicians who cross gun owners' rights face dire consequences.

Mayor Tufts was stripped of his political position later in the afternoon when county police officers went to Bobby's daycare center to collect his official cellphone, laptop, and fleece jacket. The former mayor reportedly cried and wet his pants. He then asked for his stuffed doggy Skipper, who also serves as his legal adviser.

Tufts had no comment on plans for his political future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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