KANSAS CITY - Tiger Woods was visiting a former caddy in Kansas City when he was asked about his upcoming golf clinic in Damascus, Syria.
Woods grinned and shook his head as he said that needless to say that baby has been cancelled permanently due to unforeseen circumstances precipitated by President Obama and President Putin.
He said that there is just no way that he is going to visit Syria at this time because as he so eloquently said, "My mammy didn't raise no fool, no sa."
Woods says that he has already spoken to the Syrian golf clinic director and he has asked for a refund of the $185,000 that he paid towards the golf clinic proceedings.
Tiger was asked about the rumors floating around the various golf courses in America that he could possibly be getting back together with his ex-wife Elin Nordegren.
Woods laughed as he took a sip of his Mimosa Daiquiri and responded by saying that the only way he would possibly ever get back with Elin is if she got down on both knees, naked as a jaybird, and begged for his forgiveness in front of Jay Leno and David Letterman.
In Other News. Omarosa revealed in Afro Sheen Magazine that if Donald Trump wasn't married she'd be all over him like mustard on a hot dog.