Written by Matt Birkenhauer
Print this

Saturday, 14 September 2013

image for Calling House Republicans "Neanderthals," Biden Bungles Again
Australopithecus Republicanus

Gaffe-prone Vice President Joe Biden, speaking at an event celebrating his signature legislative achievement, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), at one point called the House Republicans who opposed renewal of the Act in 2012 the "Neanderthal crowd." A spokesman for Biden later corrected the Vice President for his gaffe, saying that Biden meant to compare the House GOP members to the hominid species Australopithecus Robustus, a species which has massive grinding teeth and a prominent lower jaw, with a brain capacity of about 550 centimeters.

Biden's spokesman made the correction after paleoanthropologist Richard Leakey, the son of famous archeologist Louis Leakey, complained that comparing members of the House GOP to the species Homo Neanderthalis was highly demeaning to the species more popularly known as "Neanderthals."

Said Leakey: "The average Neanderthal had a brain capacity of at least 1,450 centimeters. Its cranial capacity far surpasses that of an average House GOP member like Steve King or Michele Bachmann, whose brain capacity, if I had to guess, is probably closer to that of Australopithecus Robustus, or even lower. But that is, of course, mere speculation, based largely on what frequently comes out of these members' prominent lower jaws."

Said Rep. Bachmann in response to Leakey's comments: "I'm highly offended that Mr. Leakey would compare me to a homosexual robot!"

Make Matt Birkenhauer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 4?

2 19 3 8
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more