Written by Styrian
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Topics: Police, Knife

Monday, 9 September 2013

Governor Martin O'Malley has made a request for Maryland police to step up efforts to catch the butter knife killer after he crossed an alleged red line by gassing a couple in their smart car.The butter knife killer has killed 10 people in the Maryland area by stabbing them in the neck with a butter knife until he hits their jugular vein and he leaves a tub of I can't believe it's not butter at the scene.

The working profile of the killer so far is a 7' tall 300 pound yellow male(which is beleived to be jaundice)so when witnesses saw a large yellow man pick up the smart car and run away with it he was implicated in the crime.The smart car was found with a tube running from the exhaust pipe to the car window.The victims arms and legs were duct taped and doors were taped shut,a stick of real butter placed on the hood.The victims car was found in a wooded area of Taneytown Maryland.

The victims are believed to have been dead for five days and amazingly the car was still running."I couldn't believe it"said one officer "I guess it is a smart car unless your found dead in it."When asked by reporters why gassing a couple was crossing a red line the governor responded"Well most of the world has condemned using gas to kill and a butter knife well it's just a butter knife."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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