Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Spy, Cows, Farmers, Drones, dairy

Monday, 9 September 2013

image for A Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Shoots A Pelican - Says He Thought It Was A Spy Drone
Some of the dairy cows on Wendell Hickenbocker's Kenosha farm.

KENOSHA, Wisconsin - Dairy farmer Wendell Hickenbocker, 68, who has been in the cow milking business for 47 years, said that he has been watching CNN and hearing a lot about these so called spy drones that Canada is reportedly sending up to spy on America.

Hickenbocker, who said he fought in Vietnam and was awarded six Purple Hearts plus Vietnam's prestigious Bamboo Sword of Meritorious Merit Award told Durango Tucker with National Focus Magazine that he has noticed several of them foreign drones flying over his lower 40 pasture.

He said that he told his wife, Pandora May, 66, about them but she just said to ignore them because they certainly would not be spying on some little old Wisconsin dairy farmer who only has $719.43 cents in his checking account.

Not content, Wendell said that he disguised himself as a haystack one night and sat out in the hayfield waiting with his high-powered telescopic rifle.

He said that after about 19 minutes of sitting he heard one of them spy drones fly over and bam! he shot it and it fell to the ground.

As he ran over to it he saw that it was not a drone but a pelican. Wendell panicked like hell. He picked up the wounded pelican and took it home to his wife.

She told him that lucky for him and the pelican that he isn't a very good shot as he had barely nicked a couple of the pelican's feathers.

She giggled as she said that the pelican was not hurt at all and he had just ruffled its feathers a might (a bit). She told her husband that the pelican had fallen to Earth because it was scared as hell.

The Hickenbockers fed the pelican some hamburger helper and a Snickers Candy Bar and took it outside. Within seven seconds the pelican flapped its wings and flew away.

SIDENOTE: Wendell promised his wife that from now on he is just going to mind his own business and not worry about those damn Canadian spy drones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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