Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: John McCain

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

image for Senator John McCain volunteers to lead ground assault on Syria!

Senator John McCain appeared today on the grounds of the nation's Capital dressed in full combat gear from the Colonial War era and mounted on a white stallion. He was accompanied by a small group of members of the Tea Party also dressed in uniforms of that era and carrying muskets. As the stallion reared up and McCain waved his musket in the air, he started to sing:

"To dream the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe,
to bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where the brave dare not go...

To right the unrightable wrong,
to love pure and chaste from afar,
to try when your arms are too weary
to reach the unreachable star!

This is my quest -
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far -
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause!

And I know
if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart
will be peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest.

And the world will be better for this
that one man, scorned and covered with scars,
still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable stars!"

The Associated Press reports that at this point McCain's horse reared up and he shouted, "On to Syria, death to the infidels!" The small crowd shouted back, "On to Syria, death to the infidels," and shot their muskets into the air. The footage also showed McCain's friend and constant companion Senator Lyndsey Graham riding along side of him on a small donkey and carrying a box of Depends.

In related news, an anonymous source within the Kimberly-Clark corporation, manufacturers of Depends, told the AP the company has paid McCain an undisclosed sum for the rights to show clips from this morning's event with the sub-title, "America---Depends on you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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