Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 3 September 2013

image for President Obama Offers A $3 Million Reward For The Capture and Safe Return To America of Edward Snowden
President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and two unnamed GOP senators met at the White House to discuss Edward Snowden.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama met with Vice-President Joe Biden and two unnamed high-ranking Republican senators to discuss the situation regarding Edward Snowden, AKA The NSA Leaker.

White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax informed the White House Press Corps that the President has expressed a desire to make capturing and returning Edward Snowden back to America a top priority.

He said that at the moment he plans on putting other magor matters on the backburner.

When asked why the president is so focused on Edward Snowden, Colfax grinned and said because of the amazing wealth of very personal, private, and comprimising information that Mr. Snowden could provide to President Vladimir Putin.

Colfax reminded the members of the press that Putin provided Snowden with instant asylum and it isn't because Eddie is a good looking fella.

Putin appointed Snowden to be Russia's Director of Computers because of the vast volumes of voluminous knowledge that he can provide to the Kremlin.

Colfax pointed out that Putin bought Snowden a brand new house and he has approved of his beautiful niece Nadia Volgavich dating Mr. Snowden.

The White House press secretary stated that President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and the two unnamed Republican senators are all in agreement and have agreed to pay the individual or individuals who capture and return Edward Snowden back to the United States the sun of $3 million.

"Tax free?" Asked a reporter with National Focus Magazine.

"AB-SO-FRIG-GIN-LUTE-LY!" Colfax replied.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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