Written by K.C. Bell
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 7 October 2006

image for News Flash: Condoleezza Remembers
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking."

Hollywood D.C. - Reminiscent of a scene from the Alfred Hitchcock film, Spellbound, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, former head of the President's National Security Council, managed a partial memory flashback, minus any stint at a rehab clinic for drug or alcohol abuse.

This miraculous recollection followed her assertion that she never received a pre 9/11 warning in July from CIA chief George Tennet and counter terrorism chief J. Cofer Black, (he with the preppy name and, "Osama bin Laden head in a box" promise). Helpful in the Condoleezza Rice memory recovery process were the number of witnesses also attending the same meeting and hearing the same warning.

Not willing to walk the plank alone, and straight out of the film, Seance On A Wet Afternoon, voices continue popping up sporadically and appear to be giving Ms. Rice other ripe memory flashes. Following the pre 9/11 warning - which she could not remember a week ago - she recalled telling Tennet and (head in box) Black to inform Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and then Attorney General Ashcroft. This new news interrupted the schedule of both men: Ashcroft sleeping under a palapa in Missouri; and Rumsfeld, like Dr. Strangelove, searching for another country to invade. Both denied they were warned about a pre 9/11 attack.

"Nobody ever imagined terrorists would hijack planes and fly them into buildings," she flatly stated after 9/11.

However, when the G8 summit was held in Genoa during the same July as the pre 9/11 warning, all planes flying over Genoa were grounded by the Italian government. Italy, land of pasta, pizza and La Dolce Vita, received just such a threat. Rice attended that summit. Certainly, she must have heard that planes were grounded and why. Another memory restoration is most likely brewing up the channels and should surface in another flash any week now.

Five weeks before the election, and things continue to appear grim for the Republicans. Scandals keep shooting up like gophers in the film, Caddyshack. The Foley resignation, cover up and present stone walling is looking too much like Watergate, and All The President's Men. The Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, seem to be nowhere; presumably they sank like the Titanic.

And somewhere a box remains empty.

Happy Halloween!

Read more by this author:

Make K.C. Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

9 6 10 4
76 readers are online right now!

Go to top