Washington - Eastern Med or Eastern Medvedev? That is the question as President Obama readies his 'My Fellow Americans...and Members of Congress' speech about annihilating Bash-Ear Assad's sarin silos with some nifty drone strikes 'early next week'.
The speech is likely to go down a treat at the Kremlin where Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin and his daft sidekick Dim-Eatery Medvedev are dug in protecting Vlad's Syrian firstborn DNA cuckoo - the madcap Dictator Assad - whose psychotic episode style of government was honed in a KGB fat-off camp circa 1990 according to NATO reports.
Obama's live broadcast is said to have been recorded ahead of Sunday's - maybe Monday's - transmission so White House studio lip-sync specialists can botox in any presentation cracks.
Of course making Da Prez's street cred shine through any nationwide chat about deployment of hundreds of Patriot missiles in a Damascus blitzkrieg is a fine art so White House airbrush big guns have been pretty busy.
"Mostly dental stuff with some new buff veneers," a White House aide explained, "a hair-root touch-up to zap the grey."
Catch the live broadcast on coast-to-coast prime time at six pm Sunday Eastern Standard Time.