Written by Chad Averman
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Wednesday, 28 August 2013

TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey Governor responded to a New York newspaper's headline calling him "fatso" by calling the newspaper, a newspaper.

Christie, who could be the fattest man in the White House since William Howard Taft, fired back at the New York Daily News by labeling the archaic and declining medium of reporting the news as a newspaper during a speech in Trenton.

"If they want to call names, let them," a heavy-breathing and sweaty Christie said. "But they need to remember what they are, a newspaper. Odds are, they will be out of business by the time I have my first quadruple-bypass."

The Daily News could not immediately respond since it only issues reports once a day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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