Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 28 August 2013

image for Lightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time
This is a photo of the third lightning bolt that struck Guggenheim "Sparky" St. Parrot.

MISSOULA, Montana - A ranch fence mender from Missoula, Montana has to be the luckiest man in the entire world.

Guggenheim "Sparky" St. Parrot, has the distinction of having been struck by lightning a total of eight times.

St. Parrot works mending fences for several ranches in the Missoula area. He said that the first time he got struck by lightning was when he was sitting underneath a tree eating a tuna fish sandwich.

He pointed out that the bolt knocked the sandwich right out of his hand and it landed on an Aberdeen-Angus cow about 85 yards away.

St. Parrot said that the second time he got stuck by lightning was when he was walking home from a poker game at his best friend Toby Tratfeister's mobile home.

He said the lightning bolt entered through his left ear and exited through his right gonad. Sparky divulged that luckily he did not have any after effects except that for 72 hours he could go to the bathroom in total darkness since his scrotum was lit up like a 100 watt light bulb.

After the fifth time of getting struck by lightning he decided that he better get some lightning insurance.

He took out a $90,000 policy that will pay him the full amount if he gets hit by lightning and ends up incapacitated.

SIDENOTE: Sparky said that after his fourth lightning strike his wife of 28 years, Cora Beth, left him because she was afraid he would somehow transfer the electrical wattage in his body from his dipstick (weiner) to her biscuit (hooha).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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