Written by Bill Honer
Print this

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

image for Israel to Build Huge Disneyland Complex in the West Bank!

Prime Minister Netanyahu announced at a press conference that Israel plans to build a Disneyland in the West Bank that will be a replica of the Disneyland in California. Reporters had many questions.

"Mr. Prime Minister, the West Bank isn't that big, do you believe there is room for such a large amusement park?"

"Aaay! What are you talking about? The place is half the size of Texas!", he exclaimed.

"Have you discussed this with the Palestinians?"

"No I have not. I find that things go much more smoothly when I simply do them and let the Palestinians learn about it later on."

"You do realize Mr. Prime Minister that there is a United Nations resolution banning Israel from building new settlements and other structures in the West Bank? Aren't you worried about sanctions?"

"Not at all." he replied confidently. The United States will block any efforts to cause us problems. There are members of Congress that seem willing to do anything for us."

"Can you explain why Israel receives such unusual support in Congress?"

"Well of course I can, but surely you don't expect me to explain it publicly." he added with a smile.

"Will there be a Jewish theme for the new Disneyland?"

"Not in the least. The Disneyland in California is quite successful. We are simply going to copy it. There will be opportunities for employment for Palestinians and they will also receive a ten percent discount on the $25 entrance fee." he said.

"Mr. Prime Minister, for a family of five, the cost would be $125. The average Palestinian only earns roughly $3000 annually, compared to $26,000 for Israeli workers; that represents almost five percent of their annual income. Do you really think they will be able to afford to visit?"

"Look, did I ask them to have kids? Anyway, maybe we can offer all residents of the West Bank a 15% discount as a gesture of goodwill."

"Mr. Prime Minister, will there be anything special about the new Disney land?"

"Yes indeed!" he added with enthusiasm. I am proud to announce we will be constructing New Jerusalem Downs!, a thoroughbred racetrack that will feature a Grade I race "The Yitzak Shamir Handicap" with a purse of $1 million dollars. It will attract the finest horses from all over the world."

"Mr. Netanyahu, is that an appropriate name for the race? After all, Mr. Shamir was a terrorist who bombed the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1948."

"Terrorist shmemmorist! he screamed. Mr. Shamir was a hero, not a terrorist, because as he said one time, "I was not a terrorist because our cause was a just one."

"Mr. Prime Minister, it appears likely that Palestinians will be shocked and offended
at this entire enterprise." Are you concerned about that?"

"Not in the least. We will simply tell them that we have scheduled negotiations to address their concerns in the year 2450; that should keep those whiners happy."

Mr. Netanyahu then concluded the press conference with a few tips on bowling for the puzzled press corps.

Make Bill Honer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

1 16 10 23
57 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more