Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 24 August 2013

image for Governor declares state of emergency as Yosemite fire threatens weed harvest
Thousands are flocking to downwind sites for a weekend of free toking

California - "It's every stoner's worst nightmare," a California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection worker said today as several thousand acres of medicinal grade Blue Bud marijuana remained under threat of destruction by wildfires raging northwest of Yosemite National Park.

The inferno has prompted California Governor Jerry Brown to issue a state of emergency notice containing the huge daily crowds of assorted deadheads, stoners and bong suckers flocking to sites downwind from the cannabis blaze.

Locals estimate up to 100 tonnes of best Californian weed is at stake during that botanically all-important pre-pollination state prized by sinsemilia afictionados everywhere including in San Francisco which gets 85% of its annual weed requirement from the Yosemite area.

Thousands of acres of the potent 2013 harvest were seen going in flames this weekend as one report claimed a 20,000-strong crowd of picnickers had been spotted heading to a remote area near Lake Eleanor said to be a favorite with weedheads - uh...backpackers! - seeking summer solace.

Of course with only 500 local backcountry permits having been issued this month the serene beauty spot will really struggle to accommodate the burgeoning masses of dope fiends heading for a few daze of free toking...

An ounce of Matanuska Thunderf++k retails for around $500.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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