Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 23 August 2013

image for Chelsea ducks family vacation with Uncle Roger Clinton and Uncle Tony Rodham
Clinton clan dog walkers patroling East Hampton beach

Sagaponack, Long Island - Pleading a sudden urgent desire to finish her doctoral dissertation on US roil families' White House careers Chelsea Clinton has fled to Oxford, England to beaver away the tail-end of the summer at the famous Bodleian Library.

A last minute 'dear Mom & Pop' email went down 'like a lead balloon' as Bill and Hillary waited to board their chopper for the half-hour Hamptons flight where they're holidaying at a rented $11 million Sagaponack beachside mansion.

Guests at the palatial eight-bed spread are said to include the President's 'black sheep' half-brother Roger Clinton and his son Tyler, whose law-dodging antics were once described by the US media as likely to bring Bill's presidency into disrepute. (As if!]

Also slumming it at the $75,000-a-week pile is Hillary's brother Tony Rodham and son Zach from his first marriage, plus two younger half siblings Simon and Fiona.

Then there's the three Clinton pooches, eight year-old Choc Lab Seamus, a French Poodle called Tally plus newcomer pup Maisie May.

They're playing host to Roger Clinton's two Bull Mastiffs, Rahm and Humma, which are joining the extended Clinton canine clan for a few days.

Tony Rodham has arrived with his own muttley crew of pedigree bow-wows including Zach's pet Bearded Alaskan Moosehound Trigg.

Simon and Fiona Rodham's pair of Irish Wolfhounds Blarney and Collins completes the holiday tableau, give or take a small army of dog walkers, groomers, canine psychologists, veterinary practitioners and nutrition advisers.

"It's a dog's life with the Clintons," an East Hampton pool man commented, "no wonder Chelsea's pissed and has legged it to Blighty."

Husband Marc Mezvinsky is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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