Written by Moose
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Tuesday, 20 August 2013

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We must protect New York City's police from these devilishly delights.

NEW YORK, NY - New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is not backing down.

A day after an appeals court rejected his ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces, Bloomberg started a new crusade to save New York citizens from themselves.

In a press release issued today, Mayor Bloomberg announced that he will seek to outlaw jelly donuts.

The proposal lambastes jelly donuts as "the devil's food, that attacks the innocent citizens and police of New York with their rich and creamy addictive qualities."

Bloomberg's efforts to protect people from themselves have included a campaign to ban soda, a ban on ice cream, a ban on English toffee, along with a requirement that Vietnamese restaurants post breed information on their canine cuisine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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