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Saturday, 10 August 2013

image for Giant Mayan frieze is a 19th century fake 'just like Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull'
Probably knocked out in a Guantmalan artisan workshop circa 1895

Holmul, Guatemala - A decorative stucco frieze dating from around AD 590 discovered last month inside a Guatemalan pyramid's foundations will probably turn out to be a 19th century hoax according to a UNESCO archaeology report published this weekend.

The findings compare the 26ft x 7ft artefuct with one of the region's most notorious fakes, the Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull.

This 1890s masterpiece of precision carving found in the 1920s in Belize and briefly fooled millions into believing it to be an ancient extra-terrestrial totem used by alien psychiatrists during the 'seeding' on humanity on earth, circa 500,000 BC.

Yeah, for real.

This weekend forensic archaeologists from UNESCO's Humbuggery Unit who originally exposed the Mitchell-Hedges skull as a preposterous hoax were still swabbing the Holmul frieze deep down 65ft below the pyramid base.

A number of supporting theories point to it being part of a wider hoard of counterfeit pre-Colombian artworks - for instance, like the Mayan Calendar - designed to boost the region's flagging tourist trade and international export market of so-called antiquities.

Next week renowned world expert in Mayan fakery Professor Einstein Flintstone will take over the excavation ahead of filming for the National Hystery Channel.

Flintstone, a veteran of pre-Columbian Mesoamerican stuff at London's Barking University, is rumored to be getting paid half a million squid to debunk any links to Quetzalcoatl or any other ancient warlord.

Catch his blog of the dig right here later this week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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