Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 4 August 2013

image for Obama to chill at Chilmark House
Forty grand a week? I'll take it, but all that crazy X-Files stuff has gotta go

Massachusetts - The First Family will be vacationing from next weekend at a Chicago banker's $7.6 million holiday home in Chilmark, Martha's Vineyard, made famous in the 19th century by its unusually high percentage of deaf citizens.

The town received global recognition in the 20th century after being revealed as the birth place of X-Files special agent Fox Mulder whose sister Samantha was abducted by aliens on a spot close to the Obamas' rented villa on a private nine-and-a-half acre island.

Locals have commemorated Sam Mulder's ordeal by painting a large letter X near the abduction site where David Schulte's Chilmark House now stands.

At $40,000 per week the property has previously attracted all kinds of nouveau riche grafters and celeb wannabes such as Princess Diana, who once shagged GOP bundler and self-made billionaire Ted Forstmann on the villa's veranda at high noon.

Other happy campers who have chilled from the stifling August heat at the luxurious pad are said to include Nancy Reagan's tarot card reader and Jane Fonda's mortician. [WTF? -'Ed']

Realtors have also rented out dozens of adjoining properties for the presidential security detail and 100 White House staffers accompanying the First Family on their annual trip at a rumored cost to the US taxpayer of around $10 million.

"And worth every penny of it," White House spokesperson Jay Carney commented.

"Wanna see pics of Joe Biden scuba diving off Nantucket Sound in some floral Armani Speedos?"

Valerie Jarrett is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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