Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Sunday, 28 July 2013

image for Clown Calls 911, Claims Moon Stole His Weed

Philadelphia, PA-- An unemployed clown has been arrested and charged with marijuana possession. Police sources say Mr. Poco LaLoco may just be the stupidest person who ever lived.

The trouble began at midnight after Mr. LaLoco called his local 911 emergency services. A partial transcript of the call is provided below:

Mr. LaLoco: Hello, is this 911??

911 Operator: What is the nature of your call, Sir.

Mr. LaLoco: I was just smoking weed and looking at the moon and it's gone. I think the moon stole my weed!

911 Operator: Our you insane??

Mr. LaLoco: No. I'm not insane. I'm inside my house. Can't you send a police car, maybe the siren will scare the moon enough to give me back my weed...

911 Operator: Wait there. I'm sending the police.

When the police arrived, they found Mr. LaLoco dressed as a clown and screaming at the moon. They also found him clutching a bag of marijuana in his left hand.

"Oh, that's where it is! I thought the moon stole it. You guys are good!" said the stoned clown to the police officers.

Mr. LaLoco was then beaten, tazered, and arrested. He was taken to jail where he was gang raped for hours before dying from rectal bleeding.

"I am glad the clown is dead. He was stupid." said a stoned police officer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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