Written by Moe Nightwalker
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Topics: San Diego

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Recently disgraced San Diego mayor Bob Filner has successfully registered on the popular internet dating website Match.com, following what he describes as "a really intensive, eye-opening therapy session that changed my life".

The 70-year-old mayor said he hopes to make a fresh start in his dating life using the internet to find women, rather than just grabbing, slapping, or kissing nearby women when the urge strikes him.

According to his staff, Filner has been carefully crafting his profile to attract the "kind of broad who knows how to treat a guy like a king". The mayor reportedly prefers first dates in "private, enclosed areas with dim lighting and only one exit, if you know what I mean".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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