Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 26 July 2013

image for Dog The Bounty Hunter Tells President Obama He'll Capture Edward Snowden and Bring Him Back To The USA
The president presented Duane with a handgun that had belonged to Willie "Wine Sauce" Scarpatini, a Mafia hitman.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Duane Chapman, who is better known as Dog The Bounty Hunter, met with President Obama at a special White House barbecue in honor of Duane and his buxom wife Beth.

The president and Chapman both traded stories about capturing bond jumpers and terrorists.

Beth confided to the president that she voted for him twice in the 2012 election, once in Hawaii and once in Colorado.

Duane grinned and said that he did not break the law and he only voted for him once.

The president thanked them both and remarked that he does not care one flea's freckle what people look like just as long as they are productive citizens.

Vice-President Joe Biden remarked "Ditto Mr. President."

The First Family, the Second Family, and the Chapman Family dined on barbecued baby back ribs, Dixie-style hot dogs, okra soup, and cornbread.

Dog, as he has been called ever since he was just a pup, promised the president that he and his wife will travel abroad and they will capture the NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Vice-President Biden took a sip from his bottle of Aye Caramba Beer™ and hollered out, "And that's another ditto Chapy."

Duane looked at the president with a puzzled look.

The president smiled and whispered soft enough for just him to hear, "Ah let's file this under the what happens in DC stays in DC file."

"You're the man Mr. President."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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