(BILOXI) - Republicans, fed up to here, Democrats even more-so with President Bush finally reached the bubbling point and physically rode the president out of Washington DC on a rail just like they used to do to those horse thieves back in the days of Gunsmoke and Rawhide. Bush, his whereabouts still unknown is apparently still alive out there according to unnamed Psychic TV psychics who have so far received cries of
"God HELP ME Jesus" from some unknown troubled spirit voice resounding through the cosmos somehow winding up at the LA studios of the Psychic Friends Network.
Senator Arlen Specter, the one who initiated the bill to ride the president out of town on a rail told reporters,
"We have no idea where the president is. All we know is that we tied him to a rail, dropped the guy off somewhere between here and Biloxi, perhaps he's there. We, Congress simply voted 310 to 1 to get him out of town. On a rail. The tarred and feathered portion of the bill along with the clause about first setting the president on fire for some reason did not pass the House."
DC police say they will not file charges and arrest those members of Congress who participated in riding the president out of town on a rail because if they did that the only Congressman left to rule the nation would be Senator John McCain and according to DC police chief Robert Saldanya THAT would be "unacceptable".
"Let's hope the president doesn't die out there, strapped to a rail" Senator Ted Kennedy told reporters .. Kennedy of course being the Senator who, with his own funds purchased the rail and the rope to tie Bush to the rail and the Duct Tape to slap over Bush's mouth to mask out his screams as he was slowly but surely ridden by both houses of Congress out of town, out of Washington to God knows where, "on a rail."
Vice President Dick Cheney, not the most popular prize in the Cracker Jack Box reluctantly took the preliminary oath of office this morning following the disappearance of Bush "just in case" he, Dick Cheney suddenly had to now assume the tough job of single-handedly destroying Iraq, Iran, France, the Middle East, Korea, the economy, America, the ozone itself and the rest of the known world as we know it today.
"It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it" Cheney told reporters.