Written by Matt Birkenhauer

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Friday, 19 July 2013

image for Sean Hannity: "George Zimmerman could've been me 35 years ago."

With all the controversy surrounding the verdict on the Trayvon Martin case, Sean Hannity announced today, "George Zimmerman could've been me 35 years ago."

Said the voluble host from Fox News: "Hey! I grew up in the mean streets of Franklin Square, New York. I was often profiled as a mealymouthed Catholic kid who came from the suburbs. Like George Zimmerman, I was also a puny, easily bullied weakling who was pushed around by kids of other ethnicities in my all-white neighborhood, like the kid down the street from me whose ancestors came from Canada."

Asked if, like George Zimmerman, he would have shot someone if that person had profiled him as an aggressive asshole and wannabe cop, Hannity answered. "Hell yes! If that was God's will."

Later this week, Hannity is expected to interview himself about the Trayvon Martin case on his radio show, Hannity on Hannity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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