Written by DP Whitehead
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Topics: Rolling Stones

Friday, 19 July 2013

image for Rolling Stones Album Burning Protest Vexes Mick Jagger

Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger is said to be "horrified" after a small town in Alabama organized a "Burn Your Rolling Stones Albums" event last night in response to a request from the town's Mayor Buddy Horn, in response to what he believed was The Rolling Stones use of featuring an unsmiling, scruffy Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of their new CD.

Over 300 residents of Stupidville turned up and threw their collections of Stones CDs, records and memorabilia on a hastily prepared bonfire, while they chanted "USA! USA! USA!" in unison. At one point a British flag was also set alight along with an effigy of Beatles drummer Ringo Starr, who some believed was "probably in the Rolling Stones at some point".

Unfortunately, for many of the former Stones' fans, they woke up with red faces when it was pointed out that the Rolling Stones had indeed NOT used any image of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on any cover, publication or other material and indeed it was in fact the magazine "Rolling Stone" which had used the image to adorn the front cover of its latest issue.

"We feel dumb as shit" cried one resident as he was seen rummaging through the embers and ashes of the previous nights pyre, searching for his rare and limited copy of a signed stone's photograph, reportedly worth several thousand dollars.

Jagger though, is said to be furious and has requested that Rolling Stone issue a statement saying that his band has no connection to the magazine.

It has also caused a re-think for the band, who were planning on having an image of Adolf Hitler adorn their next album cover, the oddly titled "Hitler Wasn't That Bad - Was He?"

"Maybe we should re-think that" announced Jagger "and maybe use someone less controversial - maybe George Zimmerman?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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