Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 July 2013

image for U.S. Explorers Discover A World War II German U-Boat In An Alaskan Iceberg
This is the Alaskan iceberg in which explorers discovered the World War II German U-Boat.

JUNEAU, Alaska - A Group of Arctic explorers from Walla Walla, Washington have reported making a fantastic find.

Team leader Marco Ruckertucker, 42, told the news media that his group of six explorers, who have been dubbed The Magnificent 7 by Michelle Obama, were out about 200 miles off the coast of Juneau, in the Gulf of Alaska.

They were hoping to locate the wreck of the salmon fishing boat The Feisty Fanny Fantanovich which was lost at sea back in September of 1953, sixty years ago.

Records indicate that the last radio transmission from the doomed vessel reported that they had been hit by some kind of gigantic son-of-a-bitch something or other.

The transmission was horribly garbled due to the Gulf of Alaska mist which can be very garbling at times.

Old timers belief that The Feisty Fanny Fantanovich was probably sunk by the notorious 49-ton sperm whale that the Eskimos called Zotnook Pooma, which in English means dammit, that is one big son-of-a-bitch sperm whale.

As the Walla Walla team was searching for the vessel they came upon a huge iceberg. In fact team leader Marco Ruckertucker said that in his 25 years of exploring the Alaskan landscape and waters he had never seen a bigger iceberg.

He noticed that just below the surface he could see something reflecting in the water.

As he and two other team members dived into the frigid waters they soon saw something that they could not believe. Inside the iceberg was a perfectly preserved World War II German U-boat, the UB-1313.

As per The Alaskan Salvaging Rights Doctrine of 1952, he immediately called up the White House and reported his findings to Vice-President Biden.

President Obama had gone with the first lady and the two first kiddos to a local Washington, D.C. Burger Bandit.

SIDENOTE: The World War II German U-Boat will be housed in Washiington, D.C.'s Smithsonian Museum. In exchange for turning over the rights to the submarine to the United States Government Ruckertucker and his six fellow team members will each receive $17,000 tax-free. They will also be awarded with the prestigious President Barack Obama I Am A Great American plaque.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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