Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 16 July 2013

image for Spinsters Riot After Justin Dustbin Concert Cancelled
Spinster Riot Goes Out Of Control

Philadelphia, PA-- A flock of spinsters went on a rampage last night in Philadelphia after a Justin Dustbin concert went awry. The spinsters were upset because Justin Dustbin thought the audience was 'too ugly' and he refused to perform. Police sources say almost 100 spinsters were arrested in the bizarre melee.

The trouble began soon after Justin Dustbin took to the stage. For some reason, spinsters adore the bratty singer and his awful music. Every one of the 100,000 seats was occupied by an unattractive, gray-haired old maid. Justin Dustbin took one look at the crowd and vomited.

"I can't believe I have old bats like you for fans! I hate you!" screamed Justin. "And quit looking at my butt--you're a bunch of sick old maids, and I won't sing for you!" said the pop-star punk before he stormed off the stage.

As soon as Justin left the stage, the spinsters went berserk. A flock of spinsters flew out the door and went rioting throughout the city.

One old maid picked up a bus and tossed it into the 22nd floor of a skyscraper. Another old maid threw a bomb into City Hall, destroying the building.

"It's all those repressed sexual feelings that make them go crazy!" opined one policeman. "It gives them a lot of adrenaline and their blood starts to boil--they should all be locked-up!"

Miss Vicky Smegma was one of the spinsters arrested for vomiting. She says that she has no regrets.

"I know that I'm just an ugly old maid, but even ugly old maids deserve some respect." said Miss Smegma from behind bars. "Besides, I think I had my first orgasm during the riot."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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